Good Instincts






“Good instincts tell you what to do long
before your head has figured it out.” — Michael Burke


People want reasons or explanations for your decisions,
behavior, opinions, and judgments. They want to know “why” along with knowing
“what.” They need to make sense of things and look to you for reasons and
explanations. The problem is that you frequently struggle with providing
adequate, accurate responses to the questions and concerns. Often, those
decisions, behavior, opinions, and judgments were primarily based on intuitive
insights and processes. This means that you don’t actually know “why.” The best
you can do at times is, “It felt right,” or “It seemed like a good idea at the
time.” If pressed, you “construct” a reason or explanation; but it’s definitely
post hoc and likely does not account for the “what” of the event or
circumstance. A much more accurate response would be, “I just went with my
hunch,” although people are seldom satisfied with that as the reason or explanation.






Like You Expect






“Look to make your course regular, that men
may know beforehand what they may expect.” — Francis Bacon


You treat other people like you expect to be treated. Sure, it’s
a “Golden Rule” kind of thing but that isn’t the point here. While other people
treat others differently than they expect to be treated and treat some people
one-way and others another, you generally have one set of behaviors and
attitudes that you use in most all interpersonal situations. Your consistent
style with people has one important benefit. It lets you gage conformity and
variation in the behavior and attitudes of other people and of specific
individuals at different times. This is in part why you are so good at “reading
people.” You are the “constant” in the “reading people” equation, while other
people are the “variables.”






Your Proper Role






“Do not worry about holding high position;
worry rather about playing your proper role.” — Confucius


You clearly understand your roles with people. You have a real
knack for knowing that being the leader does not mean that one always takes the
lead, is always in charge, or is always the one to whom others turn for advice,
guidance, or direction. This enables you to easily and smoothly change roles
from person to person and with a specific person as situations and
circumstances shift over time. Among other things, this means that you can
shift to being the follower/subordinate as easily as you can take charge. The
transitions are likely automatic and intuitive, without conscious thought or
decision. You just know what is called for in any particular situation.






Seldom Impatient






“When someone is impatient and says, ‘I
haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have
all day?” — George Carlin


You are seldom impatient or in a hurry. This is in part because
you tend to stay relaxed and relatively laid-back; but there are two more
important reasons. First, you are seriously interested in other people and in
what they have to say. Allowing time to listen is thus something that you value
and want to do. Second, you are able to plan and arrange things so you have
time and don’t need to rush or become impatient. You have an uncanny ability to
be places just in time, have things done just in time, and to be available just
in time when others need to talk. This extends to managing your schedules so
there is always enough time to calmly take care of whatever needs your
attention now.






Conform To The Criteria






“See first that the design is wise and
just; that ascertained, pursue it resolutely.” — William Shakespeare


You don’t use yourself as the standard for how others should
think and feel or how others should act. You do develop complex criteria that
apply to specific situations and circumstances and you generally conform to
those criteria. Here is the key. You conform to the criteria; but whether
others choose to use those criteria is their choice. If you think their
conforming is in their interest, you are clear about that. Still, the choice is
theirs.