Where love rules, there is no will to
power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the
shadow of the other. — Carl Jung
Don’t try to take charge of anything or anyone. Sure, you are
assertive and comfortable with your position and authority and don’t hesitate
exercising that authority appropriately and responsibly. The point here is that
you don’t use power junkie strategies including manipulation, power games, and
expanding your locus of control at the involuntary expense of others.
Do you gain more control and influence over time? Yes you do.
The remarkable point is that this expanding locus of control just seems to
happen without any active intent of yours. You simply end up in charge.
It seems likely that this is a product of intuitive processes
that recognize and exploit opportunities to facilitate the success of other people.
Your being in charge isn’t a function of power or control. Its, rather, a
function of your being in charge becoming an extrinsic but essential aspect of
other people’s success. They just would not be as successful without you.